You may have noticed that my last post was a New Year’s resolution to publish two new blog posts every month… and it is now almost a full year later as I manage to publish exactly one post. In my defense, I haven’t been entirely procrastinating when it comes to writing. Though my New Year’s resolution fell flat, my list of things-done-this-year contain many of my long-put-off goals.
I’ve been studying copyediting and proofreading and began offering these services on Fiverr. Also, my digital art projects have grown from game art into book cover design. I know it’s not exactly a writing skill, but it’s still self-publishing related. Take a look at my gigs here.
Of course, there was NaNoWriMo last month, which is always my opportunity to have fun with a fresh story idea, even when I have works-in-progress that should be finished. Okay, that one is more of an excuse than an accomplishment. But I’ve also taken three courses at Creative Nonfiction this year and spent a lot of time learning about different forms of creative nonfiction and creating new material.
One of these pieces is a hermit crab essay (so named because the content borrows the format of another medium, in this case, a catalog) about procrastination. It seems a fitting piece to share along with my apologies and promise that more story structure and craft of writing posts are to come this new year! …For sure!
But in the meanwhile, here it is. Procrastinator’s Supply, a hermit crab essay.
Here at Procrastinator’s Supply, we believe in providing our customers with only the best, tried-and-true methods of passing the time while waiting for writerly inspiration to strike. All of our products are proven to work and we don’t sell anything we don’t use ourselves.
Note Paper
After a long, stressful and unproductive day, nothing puts your mind at ease and allows for a restful night’s sleep like a good to-do list. Write a plan for tomorrow, promise yourself an early start first thing in the morning and you’ll sleep like you don’t know the meaning of the word “deadline”! Keep on your nightstand to be ready for any middle of the night awakenings.
Choose from any of these soothing colors: blissful blue, serene green and all-is-right white.
25 ct. | $4.95
100 ct. | $16.95
Dirty Dishes
An oldie but a goodie and a top customer favorite. These dirty dishes are obtained locally and all food residue is certified non-GMO and USDA organic. Fill the sink and work up some suds while you wait for inspiration to strike. Just add warm water and soap, not included. Choose from singles or a complete service, easy-wash or caked-on for extra washing time. Color and style subject to availability.
Single dish, easy-wash | $2.95
Single dish, caked-on | $3.95
Service for one, easy-wash | $10.95
Service for one, caked-on | $15.95 (best seller!)
★★★★★
“Five stars! I’ve been washing my own dirty dishes for years and was blown away by the difference these Dirty Dishes from Procrastinator’s has made! I don’t know what exactly they put on them, but it took all day to get it off and when I was through, I had a list of new ideas for my novel, not to mention a beautiful new set of dishes to add to my collection. Will buy again and certainly recommend to a friend!”
— Cheyenne, MN
Streaming TV
Kick back, relax and binge-watch all your favorite TV shows. Simply plug the USB into your TV, connect to WiFi and enjoy! Best of all, since you’re conducting story research, it’s completely guilt-free. Buy with our Procrastinator’s Note Paper to jot down all the plot point and character ideas you need for your current work-in-progress. Subscription required.
Streaming TV device | $10.95
Streaming TV service | $5.95 per month or $49.95 per year
Desk Organizers/Dis-organizers
Take a look at it, you know your desk isn’t as conducive to your writing endeavors as it could be. Science shows that while an orderly workspace is beneficial to productivity, a cluttered one can aid creativity. Whether your desk is a little too neat or it’s a disaster area, we’ve got you covered.
Our organizer set includes: pencil cup, two paper trays, index card file and letter holder. Dis-organizer set includes: place mat for stack of books, two shoe boxes labeled “what-not”, easy-tip wastebasket and three beautiful empty pens to make sudden note-taking dangerous and exciting. Give your workspace the overhaul it craves!
Organizer set | $24.95
Dis-organizer set | $24.95
Organizer/Dis-organizer bundle | $44.95
Buy both and save $5 while achieving that perfect balance, or just to shake things up now and then!
Classic Computer Game Collection
When you’re feeling down and stuck on a project, try loosening up your mind with one of these classic computer games. You’ll be back on track in no time when you feel that sense of accomplishment that can only come from watching your cards dance across the screen or seeing your smiley face rockin’ a pair of shades. Includes: Solitaire, minesweeper and majhong (Great time killer, especially if you don’t know how to play!)
CD | $10.95
Download | $10.95
Follow us on Twitter, share your favorite procrastination method and we’ll send you a $10-off coupon for your next order!
Window Cleaner Kit
Not only does this kit provide everything you need to spend the day scrubbing your windows, but when you’re through, you’ll have a clear view to gaze through while contemplating your next writing project. Perfect for daydreaming. Includes: streak-free washing solution, extra-streak washing solution (for added washing time), chamois towel, easy-grip squeegee and polish buffer.
Window Cleaner Kit | $10.95
Break-a-Lead Pencil Sharpener
Guaranteed to bring every pencil to a near perfect point before breaking it off or your money back! Choose from electric or manual for veteran procrastinators. Comes with our signature 100 ct. Procrastinator’s Pencil Pack (pg. 3).
Electric | $10.95
Manual | $24.95
Weed Seeds
Keeping a garden is a perfect compliment to the writer’s lifestyle, and weeding a garden is a perfect pastime to find inspiration. Turn your garden into a growing place for story ideas with these weed seeds! With all the extra time you’ll spend weeding, writing ideas will pop into your head faster than you can pull them!
Guaranteed to thrive in all growing zones. Variety may vary.
1 packet, 100 seeds | $1.99
3 packets, 300 seeds | $2.99
New! Dog Walking Kit
Need an excuse to go for a walk? Try taking up dog walking! Includes leash, collar, poo-poo scoop and puppy. Obtained from no-kill shelters, these puppies need good homes where they will get plenty of exercise and fresh air. Leash and collar come in a variety of designer colors. Puppy comes in terrier (pictured), dachshund and poodle, subject to availability. Doubles as dog-ate-my-homework excuse!
Dog Walking Kit | $49.95
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